EVERY day I live knowing that the cancer in my body wants to kill me in the next few months.
But please, don’t feel sorry for me. I write to you as one who appreciates the smallest things in life – like a good night’s kip, for instance.
And that’s why I have a heartfelt message for you – wake up! This is it. Life! You don’t get a second chance, none of us do.
We all have to understand how precious time is. Because your regrets are only the memories you failed to make.
Every day I look out of my window and I see a new day and that is a great gift to me.
I see now that people put off enjoying life and giving love as if they are bills they are unwilling to pay.
And it bothers me when I hear people put off doing or trying new things because they believe they have lost before they’ve started.
I am only fighting death. Many people are fighting themselves and that is a much bigger struggle.
They say they are no good before giving themselves a chance. Do it! Try it!
I’ve thought about death a lot and I’m not scared of it anymore.
I’m more scared of leaving behind the things that I love. I’m scared of leaving Wayne and not having him to hold my hand. I’ll miss watching kids play in the street and jumping up every morning to see if there’s any post.
After the funeral my instructions are very clear. A big party back at my house with happy, funky music and a compulsory glass of Archers for every mourner – my favourite drink.
After that they are free to get completely sozzled and have fun. No crying. I’ve told everyone that if I catch them crying I’ll come back and poke them in the eye.
And if I don’t it’s because I’m far too busy swimming with the dolphins. Please, please, keep having fun! With love, Diane
DREAM: Swim with dolphin; TENDER: A kiss with Wayne